A recent article (Arthritis Today, Sept/Oct 2005) confirms the effectiveness of helping people via the telephone. Researchers found that “participants receiving at least three telephone talk therapy sessions from qualified doctors and psychologists during an eight-week session had a 55-percent decrease in depression.” (p. 46) One scientist declared that “it’s the human contact with a caring individual that works,” not the in-person visit.

In this world of email and telephone prompts, it’s nice to know that there’s a person with a compassionate spirit at the other end of the line. To find out more about how effective coaching over the phone can be, please visit my website, www.myfamilycoach.com, and read the testimonials of my satisfied clients. Better yet, try coaching yourself.

Depression-Rumination Cycle

Since the above research targeted depression, I would like to acquaint you with another interesting study about this mood disorder.

People who are depressed spend a lot of time thinking about the negative side of life. They tend to “ruminate” about (or chew over) everything that is going wrong. They might then speak to friends, family members or therapists about all of the factors/people contributing to their depression. Does all of this self-concern help?

No, according to research described in the November 2005 issue of Monitor on Psychology. We feel worse when we continually talk about what’s bothering us. We gain neither insight nor relief in doing so.

First of all, focusing on the negative aspects of a situation causes us to become even sadder or angrier about our circumstances. The more emotional we become, the less capable we are of engaging in rational problem-solving.

Secondly, as the saying goes, “smile and the whole world smiles with you; frown and you frown alone." Other people, even close friends or spouses, don’t want to continuously hear about our troubles and after awhile will begin to withdraw from us. We might then feel abandoned and rejected, further exacerbating our depressive or angry feelings.

Rumination thus creates a negative cycle of depression and isolation. Instead of expending one’s energy in this unproductive manner, try the following steps:

1. Distract yourself from thinking about your problem by engaging in an activity that requires your concentration.
2. Revisit the issue later, when you’re alone but not too tired to think (i.e., not at bedtime).
3. Reappraise the situation in as positive a light as possible.
4. Develop alternative goals and let go of unattainable ones.
5. Take a step towards reaching your new goal.

Learning to minimize the negative and maximize the positive works well for everyone. You may not solve your problem right away, but you’ll be happier while trying to do so.