|
Raising Responsible Children
Do you want your children to know how to take care of themselves? Do you want them to become responsible adults?
Then you had better start training them now.
It’s neither too early nor too late. Set your mind to the task of teaching responsibility as soon as you recognize that you have become responsible for everyone else! This recognition may come at midnight, as you fold the family’s laundry or clean up the mess in the kitchen.
Not to say that the job will be easy. Teaching responsibility requires patience, humility and a sense of humor. But, if you succeed, your child will be on the path towards a lifetime of achievement and competency.
Because responsibility is not limited to household tasks. It is an important value that permeates every aspect of a person’s life, from relationships to employment.
Here’s how to start.
As soon as your child complains, “I’m bored,” respond enthusiastically and say, “Great! I could use your help!” He might look at you strangely but don’t be put off; keep your goal in mind.
Give him a task that is well within his capabilities and that he’ll enjoy. The latter attribute is very important because you want him to do it again in the future. If you nag him then he’ll be turned off from helping. The important point here is to introduce the idea of being a contributing member of the family. Encourage him and express your appreciation when he’s done.
Note: You don’t need to mention the word “responsibility.” Your child will enjoy the feeling of mastery that comes with completing a task. By allowing your child to take charge, you are supporting him as he takes the first step towards independence
Continue this process on a daily basis, building on the previous day’s accomplishments. Don’t be surprised if your child refuses to do something that she’s done many times before. An unmade bed will not rock the boat. On the other hand, if you forget to notice when she does make her bed you might tip the boat over, so to speak, and she won’t want to get back in.
Be very careful to set realistic goals. Expect spills, broken cups and dishes, and messy drawers along the way. It’s all part of the learning process. If you allow your child to make mistakes, she won’t be scared of your reaction and she’ll be willing to try again. On the other hand, if you get upset or anxious about the possibility of something going wrong, she will back down and allow others to take over.
Empower your child to take risks. Part of learning responsibility is experiencing the natural consequences of being irresponsible. Don’t rush to rescue your child when the homework is not completed, the project not done or the lunch forgotten. If he experiences minor consequences he won’t have to suffer more serious ones later.
A demerit is better than a traffic ticket, and a ticket is far better than an accident.
Finally, model responsible behavior yourself. Be on time, be true to your word and own up when you make a mistake. Once you accept the fact that you, too, are human you’ll be able to demonstrate that we can all grow and learn from the errors of our ways.
| 
