In this issue:
Announcement: Free Pre-Holiday Teleworkshop
This workshop, called Adult Sibling
Relationships, is intended for all adults who have brothers or
sisters. It will take place on Wednesday, December 1st, 2004 from
8:00 to 9:00 PM (ET) via telephone.
In this
teleworkshop, you will learn:
- Why sibling relationships are so
important.
- How these relationships change throughout life.
- Ways
to enhance sibling relations.
- How to restore broken ties.
- How to
move beyond the past.
You can attend this
teleworkshop from any location, by means of calling the bridge line number
that you will receive upon registration. There is no cost to the workshop
(other than the cost of the phone call).
To register, email
drmona@myfamilycoach.com.
Place the words “Adult Sibling Relationships” in the subject line. Please
include in the body of the email:
1. Your full name.
2. Your email
address and fax number.
3. Your daytime and evening telephone
numbers.
In response to your
email, you will receive confirmation of your registration and the bridge
number. ALL REGISTRATION INFORMATION IS CONFIDENTIAL.
Your Moods, Part II: How to Improve Them
Our moods often take charge of our thoughts and actions.
This can happen anytime and anyplace. For example:
In the car: “Look
at that guy! Who does he think he is? Cutting in front of me as if he owns
the road! I’ll show him who’s boss. He’ll be sorry he started up with me.”
Needless to say, the dominant mood here is intense rage and anger.
At the office:
“What’s the matter with me? I can’t seem to make any decisions. Here I am,
papers spread out in front of me, and I can’t figure out how to begin. My
supervisor warned me that I’d better start handing in my reports on time.”
Anxiety seems to have overtaken this worker.
At home: “I’ve been
looking at the Help Wanted ads for weeks. I’ve sent out resumes and made
phone calls. Not one response. I give up. I’ll never find a job.” This
person is feeling desperate, frustrated and hopeless.
What can we do
about these negative moods? They can be so overpowering that we cannot
think clearly while being held in their grip. As a result, many people
turn to alcohol or sugar-laden foods, both of which give a temporary high.
These types of “solutions,” however, only lead to worse problems.
Above all, don’t
give in to your moods and don’t give up trying to change them. Instead,
try some of the strategies listed below. Use your judgment as to which
ones work best, alone or in combination, in different situations. Enjoy a
new sense of confidence from knowing that you control your moods. Read,
practice and strive to become an effective mood-changer..
Specific Strategies
1. Find an engrossing,
enjoyable task. A passive activity such as reading may suffice; if
not, choose something that requires an output of physical energy. For
example, when was the last time you organized that cabinet in the corner
or cleaned out the garage? Your actions will not only distract you from
your negative thoughts and feelings, but will also result in a feeling of
accomplishment.
2. Exercise.
Although organization and cleaning involve some exertion, sustained
exercise is better both in terms of physical and mental health. Take a
brisk, ten-minute walk. If there is still daylight, you will also benefit
from the salutatory effects of the sun.
3. Write.
Expressing your thoughts and feelings on paper is a helpful means of
connecting with yourself. By sitting alone in a quiet room and writing in
a private journal or notepad you will leave your problems behind when you
rejoin your family. It is generally not a good idea to burden your spouse
or friends with your bad mood. Not only will you be unpleasant company
but, when you don’t get the response you want, your mood might very well
worsen.
4. Relax.
Specific relaxation techniques include yoga, meditation, visualization,
deep breathing and progressive muscle relaxation. Any one of these
exercises serves to reduce tension, slow the heartbeat and improve one’s
mood. They are easy to learn, either by reading about them or, more
effectively, by joining a class. The key to success is to practice them
regularly and consistently.
5. Think in new
ways. Cognitive strategies teach you to examine your self-talk, i.e.,
the constant stream of thoughts that runs through your head. Does your
self-talk help you cope with an upsetting event or does it lead to greater
emotional distress? If your self-talk is destructive, change it. Ask
yourself, “Is this really so horrible?” By doing so, you put the event in
perspective and are more rational about it. The end result is a feeling of
calm and greater self-control.
6. Develop good
sleeping and eating habits. A pattern of seven to eight hours of sleep
nightly and regular daily meals will pick up your energy level and enhance
your mood. If you find yourself in a bad mood, ask yourself when you last
ate, how much sleep you had last night and if you are at a low point in
your energy cycle. Take care of your physical health. It’s essential to
your mental wellbeing.
Further Reading
Clark,
Lynn. SOS Help for Emotions: Managing Anxiety, Anger and
Depression. Bowling Green, KY: Parents Press, 1998.
Fairechild, Diana. Office Yoga. Hawaii: Flyana
Rhyme Publishing, 2001.
Johnson, Lynn.
“Effective Stress Management.” Utah State Bar Journal,
August/September 2003. 6 pp. Online. Internet. 30 Aug. 2004. Available:
utahbarjournal.com/html/august_september_2003_4.html.
Radcliffe, Sara
Chana. “Manage Your Moods Before They Manage You.” The Jewish
Homemaker, Purim 57. 4 pp. Online. Internet. 30 Aug. 2004. Available:
ok.org/homemaker/purim_57/psychology.html.
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