Sibling rivalry is a normal part of growing up with a brother or sister, but when it starts to affect family life or our children’s wellbeing, it can feel exhausting and confusing to manage.
Rather than seeing rivalry as something to ‘fix’, it can help to view it as communication; a sign that our children are learning about relationships, fairness, and identity.
With understanding and gentle guidance, those tricky moments can become opportunities to help our children build empathy, confidence, and connection.
Sibling rivalry often begins early, sometimes as soon as a new baby arrives. For an older child, life changes overnight: routines shift, attention is shared, and the security of their relationship with us suddenly feels less certain.
For younger siblings, growing up alongside an older brother or sister can bring its own pressures, as they try to keep up, compete, or find their own special place within the family.
These feelings are deeply human. Children naturally compare, test boundaries, and seek reassurance of their importance, so what might look like rivalry might instead be a way of saying, “Do you still love me?” or “Do I matter as much as them?” even when this manifests as arguing, teasing, or fighting.
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