Calming Down Angry Feelings With Older Children

Understand why your teen feels angry, with strategies you can use to help them calm down.

Anger is a powerful emotion that’s can feel overwhelming, but there are ways you can help your older child calm down when they’re feeling angry.

Everyone has a limited amount of self-control and we all get angry sometimes. When we feel stressed, we’re less able to cope with our emotions, which can lead to us feeling angry more quickly.

We can’t stop feeling anger and suppressing it can be damaging. What we can do is to teach children better ways to manage their feelings during these big emotions and calm themselves down. This is called “self-regulation”.

Self-regulation means:

  • Your child can recognise and explain how they feel.
  • They take action before an emotion becomes overwhelming.
  • They feel equipped with a toolkit of strategies to stay in control.

Children can grow up feeling guilt, embarrassment, and low-self-esteem because they can’t “control themselves” when they feel angry.

Instead of anger being seen as a bad emotion, you can help your child learn to self-regulate when they feel this way. It helps boost their self-esteem and makes them feel in control of difficult situations.

Why does my older child have angry feelings?

Many things could make your child feel angry. You might notice they seem more angry at times of increased stress, changes in their life, or if they’re feeling worried about something.

Common reasons for feeling angry include:

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