What To Do When Your Teenager Says No

It’s hard when your teen refuses to do as you’ve asked. You may feel backed into a corner, powerless, and forced to give increasingly severe punishments to get them to do as you’ve said.

Some children outright refuse. Others completely ignore you or pretend they haven’t heard.

It’s tempting to give up and just do it yourself. You might ask yourself if it’s worth making a fuss about, particularly if they’re creating a scene. But allowing your teen to ignore or refuse to do as you ask encourages them to keep doing it in the future.

So what can you do to tackle this behaviour?

What to do if your teenager ignores you

First, check if your child is choosing to ignore you or they just didn’t hear or listen properly.

Turn off any distractions, like TV and computer games, and start the instruction with their name to catch their attention. Avoid using sarcasm so you know they can understand what you’ve asked them to do.

If you’re sure your teenager is ignoring your instruction, you can make it clear to them they need to do what you’ve asked straight away. The phrase, “When you do this, then you can do that,” is useful.

For example:

• • When you make your bed, then you can play on your computer game.

• • When you put your plate in the dishwasher, then you can watch TV.

• • When you ask me politely, then you can have a treat to eat.